Parang malungkot ang Pasko

WHY THE HELL am I feeling this way? It'll be Christmas in two days and I feel so down.

I'd probably be alone tonight doing some last minute Christmas shopping. My best friend A won't be ready to join me until late this evening. Aahh...two single gals on this cold, cold season. Too bad, my other best friend R can't join us. She'll be attending a Christmas party. If ever, that'll make us three single gals on this cold, cold season. What a bummer.

This will probably be the loneliest Christmas ever for us in Tondo. This'll be the first Christmas without Tatay (my uncle J) and my cousins are raring to get out of Tondo on Christmas day just to shut off the happy memories of celebrating Christmas at home with him. That'll leave me alone, on my own without no one to celebrate Christmas with. Sigh! Good thing my brother and his family (his wife and their daughter) will be here in Manila. Maybe we can have lunch together or something.

I am a family-less person. I consider my relatives in Tondo as family. But everyone has their own family now and so they'll be celebrating it with their own families. I don't know what Mama's planning to do this Christmas but we were never used to celebrating it with her. She used to be a telephone operator for PLDT and during this season, she was always on night shift, connecting families separated by distances yet cannot even connect with us, her children. My brother R says they were never together during Noche Buena since she had to go to work. I feel bad for her. I feel bad for my family.